These Life Hacks Will Make You a Really Efficient Human Being

We all love to make our lives a little easier. The trouble is, a lot of things designed to be “more efficient” actually wind up creating the opposite effect. (I mean, drive-throughs? Seriously? And don’t even get me started on escalators and travelators). So, I’ve created a list of little tricks you can use throughout your day that actually work and will make you a TOTALLY AWESOME AND EFFICIENT SUPERHUMAN. (Hyperbole? Hardly).

winning baby

1. Use paper clips and toilet rolls to organise your cords.

Those tangly little buggers are always getting tricksy, aren’t they? Attach some paper clips (the ones designed to hold great wads of paper, not the spindly little metal things always trying to help you with something) to the edge of your desk, and slot the USB-ends through the eyes.

Also, toilet rolls — so many toilet rolls — can be lined up in a box and filled with cords so that they don’t unravel all over the place.

There — you’ve killed two problems in one go.

2. Put pancake mix into an empty tomato sauce (or ketchup, for American readers) bottle for mess-free dolloping.

3. Use a straw to remove the stems from strawberries.

You’ll never have to get juice and chocolate all over your fingers ever again.

4. Use a clean dustpan to fill a container that won’t fit in the sink.

Oh my gosh — the amount of water I’d have saved if I knew this hack earlier on in life?! Place a dustpan in the sink with the handle hanging over the edge. Put your container on the floor under the handle. Turn on the tap and watch the water flow from the dustpan to its handle, and cascade in a majestic waterfall into the bucket.

Consider mopping = owned.

5. Squeeze the sides of an empty plastic bottle to suction egg yolks from the whites — easy separation.

Don’t let meringue-making get the better of you.

6. Use those annoying plastic bread tabs to hold the spot on a roll of sticky tape.

7. For the men: use those screwy-metal-thingies (you know, the ones you use to lever the ropes for rock climbing?) to hold 57376615291 bags of shopping, so you can climb up to your apartment without making several trips or mangling your fingers.

8. Make two-minute brownies in mugs.

You need 1/4 cup of sugar, 1/4 cup of flour, 3 tbsp water, 2 tbsp cocoa, 2 tbsp olive oil, a pinch of salt, and some ice cream (optional — but like you won’t use it).

Add all the dry ingredients into your microwave-safe mug. Add the oil and water, and mix until consistent. Cook in the microwave for 1 min 40 secs. Remove the mug (don’t burn your fingers), and dollop some ice cream on top. Instant brownies, biatches.

9. Chew gum while chopping onions.

You won’t cry.

10. Rub a walnut on damaged wooden furniture to cover up scratches and dings.

Congratulations…you are now the hackiest human being on the planet.