A question which many young couples are asking themselves these days when it comes to the theme of marriage is what exactly is it that makes a successful matrimonial. The older generation did this very well of course but these days divorce rates are rising and to be frank, the statistics are worrying. To shed some light on this I thought that I would talk a but today about my friend Eric Wetlaufer, the boss of my company here in Wesson and a man who has been married to his wife for over 35 years. I know the family well and so I wanted to discuss, based on what I have seen, what I believe to be the keys to success in marriage.
Unfortunately the most common reason for marriages to break up is fidelity, or a lack of it. This is something which there is no excuse for and it is the cornerstone of any relationship and marriage. Eric has been a good friend of mine for many years and I have seen him on more than one occasion where he has declined the advances of women, perhaps something that not enough men are doing when they are in a marriage.
I see many young people in the office who are in constant contact with their partners, which makes me wonder what they actually talk about when they get home on an evening. Eric and his wife have a rule which is that they won’t speak during the day, instead preferring to catch up over dinner on a nighttime. Of course there will be the odd message or email if something comes up but in the main I think that over communication could well be a damaging aspect of many a marriage.
There seems to be a notion flying around that all out honesty is not a good idea but I do believe that in most cases this is a bad way to go about a relationship and that honesty is in fact a hugely positive attribute of any marriage. This is not to say that you need to open up about everything but there should be no secrets between you and your spouse if you want to continue a long lasting marriage.
The majority of young couples that go to court for divorce proceedings are those who I don’t believe have tried hard enough at their marriage. If you speak to any couple that has been married for a long time they will tell you all about their ups and downs, but that they always managed to get through it. The reason for this is because they believed in the sanctity of marriage and they knew that perseverance was the best way to get through the rough patches. Too many people these days run at the first sign of trouble and this is why we have the divorce statistics that we do.
Be open and honest, be faithful, be strong and tenacious and respect those lines of communication.